Isang Sulyap Sa Aking Ama

This is my father’s photo.

But it doesn’t capture all the memories of him that flood my mind when I think about him.  Let me tell you a story… thru pictures… So sad I couldn’t post them here… di pa kasi uso and selfie noon.  Siguro, to make it easier to relate to, i represent na lang natin ang mga ito sa mga bagay-bagay na maaaring  ma-imagine.

Batang maarte(meaning-Bunso):  When I was a child, pagkagising, kinakarga nya ako, kc sobrang kilitiin ang talampakan ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, hindi ako makalakad nang nakayapak sa sahig. Ang sahig namin noon ay yari sa tabla na sobrang kinis.  Walang floorwax, pero sobrang dulas at puti sa ka i-isis ni Ine (my eldest sister) ng dahon ng pakiling.  Kwento ni Inang, I would cry out “Ama, kargahin nyo na ako, kiliting-kiliti ang paa ko!!!” At kakargahin na nya ako patungo sa hapag-kainan.  Sa haba ng katawan ko, (sa edad na 6-7)  halos sumayad na ang paa ako sa sahig kung karga ako ni Ama noon.

Layak:  on our way to “Sukol” (sa bukid namin sa bundok) lagi akong sakay sa balikat ni ama (syempre! J) and he would stop in every vine of “layak” that we find along the way para makapamitas ako ng hinog na bunga nito.

Hasag: Hindi ko malilimutan kung paanong sabik na sabik kaming naghihintay na magliwanag ang buong kabahayan habang binubuhay ni Ama ang aming hasag.   Kasabay nito ang paulit-ulit na paliwanag at pagbibigay instruction paano ito gagawin kapag wala siya.  Siempre di ako natuto, kasi maliit pa ako noon at ang isip ko ay lumilipad sa kwento ni Rizal kung paanong nasunog ang isang gamo-gamo …

Juan Tamad:  Bago matulog, kapag nasa mood sya, at nagkukwento sya ng mga kwento ni lola Basyang, that always end up with Juang Tamad carrying his “kuwan” either in a “kaing” on his  back or tied to his neck to prevent it from falling… (OMG!)

Signal Light (Car): On our way to school, akay-akay nya ako along EDSA from Clover Leaf to my school around 2 Km lang naman siguro ang distance… I learned by first “driving lesson” from him.  As we were about to cross a street (where vehicles turn right from EDSA to go down to NLEX), he said “ titignan mo kung naka-signal sa kanan, ibig sabihin, liliko yan sa kanan… wag ka tatawid”.  Until now, when I drive, otomatikong naka signal ako kapag liliko, o mag che-change lane.

Voice lesson:  Sabi nya, pag kakanta ako, dapat hihigitin ko ang hangin from my stomach at dibdib.  Dati kaya ko yun gawin, pero nung tumagal, naiipit na lang sa throat yung boses ko.

Sinturon:  A ito, di na kailangang I-kwento ito, alam nyo na yan!!! Pero may ibang twist… one night, na late kami ng uwi ng ditse ko, kinaray-karay nya akong manood ng sine, double program at naglakad kami pauwi from Monumento to Balintawak kc naubos pamasahae namin.  Of course, when we arrived, my warning agad sa amin ung kasambahay naming na lagot kami kay ama pag-uwi nito.  So, nung maramdaman kong parating na sya, dumapa na ako, ready na ang pwet ko with padding at di na ako humihinga… He blurted out “ O, bakit nakatuwad ang bunso ko? Humihingi ng kasunod?” Then he picked me up and hugged me and threw me up the air laughing… I don’t remember anymore what came next, but surely I don’t remember his belt landing on my butt.

Poso:   Si ama ay isang magpoposo… halos lahat ng poso sa aming barrio, pati sa bayan ng Angat ay siya ang gumawa.  Kung hindi man siya ang gumawa, siguradong natawag na siya upang mag repair ng mga ito.  One day, I told him that I need to pay my tuition fee the next day… sabi nya, sige nak, mamaya, may ibibigay ako sa’yo.  Nang tanghaling yaon, pauwi ako, nadaanan ko siyang nakalambitin sa kalo, katanghaliang tapat, at alam kong hindi pa nanananghalian… Gusto kong umiyak noon, realizing how hard he worked to earn money for my tuition fee… and that same moment I promised myself magtatapos ako ng pag aaral upang magantihan ang kanyang hirap.

Badminton: Ama was lying on the sofa, while Inang was sitting on her tumba-tumba, both holding racket as they  play badminton with my son Angel in our sala.  Ama would giggle and say “ Kawawa naman ang apo ko, parehong hukluban ang kalaro.  But Angel truly enjoyed playing badminton with them.

Lotto:  One day, Ama called me and asked me to go home quickly as he “won” the lotto and want me to drive him to Lotto office to claim the prize. Pag dating ko, hilong-hilo sya sa kahahanap ng ticket nya. He showed me a paper with the winning number written on it, sabi nya,” ito ung tinayaan ko e”. Yes, it was the winning number, but his ticket was missing. What happened next, and how he thought he won-is another long story to tell.  (hehe).

Hospital bed:  I hate hospital beds! One time, I brought Ama to hospital for treatment of his bleeding ulcer.  I was pregnant then with my daughter Nikki. The doctor was having a hard time inserting the long flexible tube through his mouth as he resisted violently. Sobrang awa ko sa kanya, tinanong ko yung doctor kung may ibang paraan.  She told me kailangan talaga un, para sondahin ung dugo sa loob.  I was already crying and whispered to him, kailangan nya yon.  Only then he cooperated, and the doctor asked me to stay away for a while as it was also not good for my condition. Though It was successful and Ama had lived another 10 years after that, there were lots of sad memories on “hospital bed-stage” that followed.

3 pirasong ubas:  I went home late from work that night when Inang told me Ama had not eaten anything the whole day.  We had just checked him out of the hospital a week from then and seen him recovering slowly.  I asked him if he wanted to be brought back to the hospital the next day and he agreed. I tried to give him a piece of grape and he obliged.  Sinubuan ko pa ulit siya, ngunit 3 lamang ang kinain niya.  Iniluwa niya ang balat at inilagay sa aking palad.  “Bukas na lang anak, maaga tayo pumunta sa ospital. Mukhang pagod na pagod ka kasi”, ang kanyang mahinang bulong.  Isang halik sa noo ang aking iginawad sa kanya, at saka ako umakyat upang matulog.  Hindi ko na siya muling nakausap mula noon.

Father’s day:  Tanging ikaw lamang Ama ang ibig sabihin sa akin ng araw na ito.  I love you, I miss you… always in my heart.